Arquivo da categoria ‘Yield’

Pearl Jam – Low Light

Publicado: 03/02/2013 em Pearl Jam, Yield

“can i be here all alone? clear a path to my home. blood runs dry, books and jealousy tell me wrong. i will feel calm. voice blows by. low light, car crash”

This week Yield, Pearl Jam’s 5th studio album, turned 15. It was the first album after I became this big a fan. I’ve always liked Pearl Jam, but being born in 1981 I was too young to really know what good music was when Seattle became the center of the rock music world. Some years later, by the time No Code had come and Yield was coming, I became obsessed. Still am, which can be proved by the posts on this blog.

Low Light, one of my favorites from that album, is a beautifully written song. Especially when you’re prone to feeling alone. Throughout the years, Pearl Jam has always helped me feel part of something. It’s not like I’ve always had problems belonging, but this band was a constant. My hair has been shaved, has lacked style, and then has abandoned some parts of my head forever, my weight has gone up and down and up again, I’ve been into some specific sports, some videogames, some series or some other music… but Pearl Jam was always there for me.

This is a moment when I’m tasting what I’ve heard so many times in my life: feeling alone is not necessarily connected to having people around. It’s not necessarily connected to being professionally succesfull, or having many opportunities to enjoy yourself. Sometimes that one thing that doesn’t connect makes you move to a place that no one can access. And it hurts feeling alone. Not being able to trust. Feeling like nothing will ever be the same. Knowing you’ll have to focus on superficial things because your inner self is melted.

So it feels like a car crash. Shattered glass, retorted metal pieces, screams. I can hear my own voice crying for help. But no one else is here. I’m here all alone. I’ll have to let the blood run dry and clear a path to my home. The map is, once again, Pearl Jam.

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“and now I rub my eyes, for (they) have returned”

 

Tomorrow six months will have passed since the closing of Pearl Jam’s tour in Brazil. It was the second time their world tour was passing through our country and the second time we had a chance to attend some concerts. Coincidentally or not, both years were not exactly easy financially speaking, so there was no way we could tour around the country with them. Which I would blindly do given any remote chance.

In 2005 I was an active member of Ten Club, so both I and my wife Fernanda got special tickets that weren’t that special in the end. We attended the Porto Alegre gig and then one of the Sao Paulo nights. The shows were awesome, of course and, even though we would relive the whole setlist many times later through the boots and the pictures, the experience itself was over with the last notes.

In 2011 I was not an active member of Ten Club and I had been a little sloppy with my true obsession with Pearl Jam for a while. I had become an adult and needed to pay the bills. I somewhat stopped listening to music altogether and became unconsciously a less happy person because of that. When the tour was announced, though, the old spark was lit and my passion was back like it had never left. In fact it had never left me, not even for a minute.

We only had enough funds to attend our home town show, the last of the tour. Every Pearl Jam fan knows that the closing gigs are always special, so I was almost OK with that. But weeks before they arrived to Brazil I got to know I was needed in Rio for my job, and I’d be there on the day of the show. When it comes to fanaticism we don’t measure our acts, so I managed to buy a student’s half-priced entrance (the only one available at that moment) and, since my wife wasn’t with me, called a local friend to have some company. The concert was magical as you can read on a previous post from the time: https://reflexodaletra.wordpress.com/2011/11/12/pearl-jam-in-brasil-november-2011/

Back in Porto Alegre, we couldn’t wait for them to come. My wife Fernanda was the founder of Pearl Jam’s first Fan Club in Brazil back in 1991, so she had some sleeping fanaticism of her own to go along. We took my younger sister with us and made her “PJ Conversion” official. The concert was on 11.11.11, a special day in every mean. Even more because in September is our anniversary.

To celebrate our 12 years together, we booked a table at Sheraton for breakfast. Being the same hotel PJ had stayed back in 2005, we hoped to at least see them. It was a lot better. When we were finishing our 2-hour-long breakfast, Stone Gossard was suddenly two tables to the left. I went over there, thanked him for the show and all the good moments throughout the years and got him to sign my ticket. No pictures, though, they kindly asked me.

After some more time, and since none of the others came, we went downstairs and waited for them in the lobby. After about half an hour Boom Gaspar came down. Another chat and autograph. We decided to split, so I went outside and Fernanda stayed inside. When the band was leaving, Fernanda asked Eddie Vedder for a picture, kindly taken by a security guy with her cellphone. Mike McCready took a picture of us people on the outside (later to be published on his twitter account) and Ed shook our hands for some minutes, thanking each and every one of the fans for their presence.

A truly magical week, and a day we will never forget. Some of the registered moments are attached to this post as to illustrate how grown-ups can easily go back to being teenagers for some time. And be damn proud of that! Cheers and Rock On!

After the show, with the newly acquired T-Shirt

The ticket with Stone’s and Boom’s autographs

Eddie Vedder heading for the van and airport

Picture taken by Mike McCready