Arquivo da categoria ‘No Code’

“and now I rub my eyes, for (they) have returned”


Tomorrow six months will have passed since the closing of Pearl Jam’s tour in Brazil. It was the second time their world tour was passing through our country and the second time we had a chance to attend some concerts. Coincidentally or not, both years were not exactly easy financially speaking, so there was no way we could tour around the country with them. Which I would blindly do given any remote chance.

In 2005 I was an active member of Ten Club, so both I and my wife Fernanda got special tickets that weren’t that special in the end. We attended the Porto Alegre gig and then one of the Sao Paulo nights. The shows were awesome, of course and, even though we would relive the whole setlist many times later through the boots and the pictures, the experience itself was over with the last notes.

In 2011 I was not an active member of Ten Club and I had been a little sloppy with my true obsession with Pearl Jam for a while. I had become an adult and needed to pay the bills. I somewhat stopped listening to music altogether and became unconsciously a less happy person because of that. When the tour was announced, though, the old spark was lit and my passion was back like it had never left. In fact it had never left me, not even for a minute.

We only had enough funds to attend our home town show, the last of the tour. Every Pearl Jam fan knows that the closing gigs are always special, so I was almost OK with that. But weeks before they arrived to Brazil I got to know I was needed in Rio for my job, and I’d be there on the day of the show. When it comes to fanaticism we don’t measure our acts, so I managed to buy a student’s half-priced entrance (the only one available at that moment) and, since my wife wasn’t with me, called a local friend to have some company. The concert was magical as you can read on a previous post from the time:

Back in Porto Alegre, we couldn’t wait for them to come. My wife Fernanda was the founder of Pearl Jam’s first Fan Club in Brazil back in 1991, so she had some sleeping fanaticism of her own to go along. We took my younger sister with us and made her “PJ Conversion” official. The concert was on 11.11.11, a special day in every mean. Even more because in September is our anniversary.

To celebrate our 12 years together, we booked a table at Sheraton for breakfast. Being the same hotel PJ had stayed back in 2005, we hoped to at least see them. It was a lot better. When we were finishing our 2-hour-long breakfast, Stone Gossard was suddenly two tables to the left. I went over there, thanked him for the show and all the good moments throughout the years and got him to sign my ticket. No pictures, though, they kindly asked me.

After some more time, and since none of the others came, we went downstairs and waited for them in the lobby. After about half an hour Boom Gaspar came down. Another chat and autograph. We decided to split, so I went outside and Fernanda stayed inside. When the band was leaving, Fernanda asked Eddie Vedder for a picture, kindly taken by a security guy with her cellphone. Mike McCready took a picture of us people on the outside (later to be published on his twitter account) and Ed shook our hands for some minutes, thanking each and every one of the fans for their presence.

A truly magical week, and a day we will never forget. Some of the registered moments are attached to this post as to illustrate how grown-ups can easily go back to being teenagers for some time. And be damn proud of that! Cheers and Rock On!

After the show, with the newly acquired T-Shirt

The ticket with Stone’s and Boom’s autographs

Eddie Vedder heading for the van and airport

Picture taken by Mike McCready


“When he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him. By nine he had deciphered the illusion, trading magic for fact – no trade-backs. So this is what it’s like to be an adult”

So is it that every child is born pure, connected with the spirituality and through time they lose the true notion of faith and hope? Is it that the salvation of the world resides upon the keeping of a child’s feelings riches? Tough questions, whose answers seem pretty evident to me. If we only knew now what we knew then, when we would judge things only for the good or bad they caused on us..! When attitudes of others would hurt us and it would never cross our minds they would be done on purpose. When being a friend was just that – being a friend.

Being good is being pure. It’s doing good not expecting something back. It’s receiving the good that comes to us with our arms open, even when it is almost invisible. It’s giving our hand to whomever needs our support. Every day we come across lots of people who need us. But we chose not to see. We chose to ignore. We chose comfort and safeness.

Easter, just passed, is not another excuse for consumption of goods. It’s a moment to celebrate the victory of good. It’s about the power of love. Let’s love, shall we?

“When he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him. By nine he had deciphered the illusion, trading magic for fact – no trade-backs. So this is what it’s like to be an adult”

Será que toda criança nasce pura, conectada com o plano espiritual e com o tempo vai perdendo a verdadeira noção da fé e da esperança? Será que a salvação do planeta reside na manutenção da riqueza dos sentimentos das crianças? Perguntas complicadas, cujas respostas me parecem evidentes. Se soubéssemos hoje o que sabíamos lá atrás, quando julgávamos as coisas apenas pelo bem ou mal que nos causavam..! Onde as atitudes dos outros nos machucavam e nunca nos passava pela cabeça que eram propositais. Onde ser amigo era apenas isso, ser amigo.

Ser bom é ser puro. É fazer o bem sem esperar nada em troca. É receber as boas atitudes que nos são direcionadas de braços abertos, ainda que sejam quase imperceptíveis. É estender a mão a quem precisa de apoio. E todos os dias encontramos inúmeras pessoas que precisam de apoio. Mas escolhemos não ver. Escolhemos ignorar. Escolhemos o conforto e a segurança.

A Páscoa, recém passada, não é mais um feriado de consumo. É um momento de confraternização sobre a vitória da bondade. Sobre a vitória do amor. Amemos, então!

Pearl Jam – Present Tense

Publicado: 08/08/2011 em No Code, Pearl Jam

“you can spend your time alone, re-digesting past regrets, or you can <…> realize you’re the only one who can’t forgive yourself. makes much more sense to live in the present tense”

Viver com os olhos no presente é desnecessariamente difícil. Passamos a vida, (ou passamos pela vida ou, pior, a vida passa por nós) com o foco no passado. Na mágoa, na tristeza, na amargura das más decisões e na vergonha pelos caminhos errados que tomamos. Ao final das contas, porém, nos damos conta que antes de obter o perdão e a compreensão do outro, precisamos nos auto-perdoar e nos auto-compreender.

Todos tomamos decisões erradas. Mudanças de rumo se fazem necessárias e ficamos presos ao “e se..” Sou um cara bastante rígido e duro com todos, mas sou ao menos triplamente mais exigente comigo mesmo. Passo muito tempo magoado pelo impacto que minhas escolhas tem nas pessoas que amo e respeito para depois descobrir que sou eu mesmo que não consigo me perdoar. Afinal de contas, “redigerir arrependimentos do passado” nos farão “passar nosso tempo sozinhos”.

Outra passagem dessa letra questiona se estamos “levando algo dessa grande viagem” que é a vida. Um bom exercício de final de dia esse de perguntar-se o que ficou do dia que passou… Poucos de nós fazem, entretanto.


Living with your eyes in the present is unnecessarily hard. We go through life, (or spend life or, worse, have life pass by) with our focus on the past. On the grief, resentment of bad decisions and shame on the wrong paths we follow. At the end of the day, though, we realize that before we can pledge for forgiveness and understanding of others, we need to forgive and understand ourselves.

We all make bad decisions. Changes of course are necessary and we become slaves of the “what if”. I’m very harsh and stiff with other people, but I’m at least three times as tough with myself. I send a lot of time hurt by what my choices cause on people I love and respect only so that, later can, I can figure out that ‘I’m the only one who cannot forgive myself.’ After all, ‘redigesting past regrets’ will make us ‘spend our time alone’.

Another quote from this same song asks if we are ‘taking something out of this all-encompassing trip’ which is life. A good exercise to close each day is to ask ourselves what we took from today… Few of us actually do that.