Arquivo da categoria ‘Backspacer’

Pearl Jam – The End

Publicado: 29/10/2013 em Backspacer, Pearl Jam
“…help me see myself, cause i can no longer tell…”
Five years ago, we decided to adopt a blind kitten. Tina had been subject to a surgery to remove both eyes and was waiting to be adopted for some time. But special needs pets are victims of prejudice, yes! Be it “lack of time”, “lack of knowledge” or any other argument, they are left behind. At first I was worried: how could I help Tina to her food bowl, in and out of bed and litter box, and with all the other everyday stuff if we were just out every day, working?
But what happened was that, besides a very short initial moment while she was getting adjusted and still had stitches on her eyes, Tina didn’t need our help. In fact, she was the one who saved us. She taught us that other animals have, in fact, something less than humans: self pity. Instead of comiserating, of making everything hard, little Tina makes everything seem absurdly simple. She needs help with barely nothing, and reminds us every day that overcoming your challenges is something very simple to do. It’s just about taking a “leap of faith”.
That put, when this other little ball of fur with a kind of “Frankenstein” look came in our lives, we didn’t even blink. Working with some very dear people who give their lives for the animal cause, our blind-kitty-girl has got herself a pair, our blind-kitty-boy. Mike, as we named him, is less than 2 months-old, lighter than 1 pound and fits in my hand. But he’s already a GIANT.
And here’s our invitation: if you want to be bigger, but bigger in your hearts, allow yourselves to learn from a special pet. You’ll be helping an animal in need, obviously. But, much more important than that, you’ll be learning a lot about unconditional love and overcoming your obstacles. Every day.
Say hi to your new friends, Mike!

“and now I rub my eyes, for (they) have returned”


Tomorrow six months will have passed since the closing of Pearl Jam’s tour in Brazil. It was the second time their world tour was passing through our country and the second time we had a chance to attend some concerts. Coincidentally or not, both years were not exactly easy financially speaking, so there was no way we could tour around the country with them. Which I would blindly do given any remote chance.

In 2005 I was an active member of Ten Club, so both I and my wife Fernanda got special tickets that weren’t that special in the end. We attended the Porto Alegre gig and then one of the Sao Paulo nights. The shows were awesome, of course and, even though we would relive the whole setlist many times later through the boots and the pictures, the experience itself was over with the last notes.

In 2011 I was not an active member of Ten Club and I had been a little sloppy with my true obsession with Pearl Jam for a while. I had become an adult and needed to pay the bills. I somewhat stopped listening to music altogether and became unconsciously a less happy person because of that. When the tour was announced, though, the old spark was lit and my passion was back like it had never left. In fact it had never left me, not even for a minute.

We only had enough funds to attend our home town show, the last of the tour. Every Pearl Jam fan knows that the closing gigs are always special, so I was almost OK with that. But weeks before they arrived to Brazil I got to know I was needed in Rio for my job, and I’d be there on the day of the show. When it comes to fanaticism we don’t measure our acts, so I managed to buy a student’s half-priced entrance (the only one available at that moment) and, since my wife wasn’t with me, called a local friend to have some company. The concert was magical as you can read on a previous post from the time:

Back in Porto Alegre, we couldn’t wait for them to come. My wife Fernanda was the founder of Pearl Jam’s first Fan Club in Brazil back in 1991, so she had some sleeping fanaticism of her own to go along. We took my younger sister with us and made her “PJ Conversion” official. The concert was on 11.11.11, a special day in every mean. Even more because in September is our anniversary.

To celebrate our 12 years together, we booked a table at Sheraton for breakfast. Being the same hotel PJ had stayed back in 2005, we hoped to at least see them. It was a lot better. When we were finishing our 2-hour-long breakfast, Stone Gossard was suddenly two tables to the left. I went over there, thanked him for the show and all the good moments throughout the years and got him to sign my ticket. No pictures, though, they kindly asked me.

After some more time, and since none of the others came, we went downstairs and waited for them in the lobby. After about half an hour Boom Gaspar came down. Another chat and autograph. We decided to split, so I went outside and Fernanda stayed inside. When the band was leaving, Fernanda asked Eddie Vedder for a picture, kindly taken by a security guy with her cellphone. Mike McCready took a picture of us people on the outside (later to be published on his twitter account) and Ed shook our hands for some minutes, thanking each and every one of the fans for their presence.

A truly magical week, and a day we will never forget. Some of the registered moments are attached to this post as to illustrate how grown-ups can easily go back to being teenagers for some time. And be damn proud of that! Cheers and Rock On!

After the show, with the newly acquired T-Shirt

The ticket with Stone’s and Boom’s autographs

Eddie Vedder heading for the van and airport

Picture taken by Mike McCready

“did i say that i need you? did i say that i want you? if i didn’t i’m a fool. no one knows this more than me. as i come clean”

De todos os mistérios e dificuldades dessa vida, para mim a maior de todas é essa: demonstrar sentimentos. Confesso ser um completo idiota sentimentalmente falando. A todos que eu amo (usando outra passagem dessa mesma música, sou um homem de sorte por poder contá-los em ambas as mãos) fica meu pedido sincero de desculpas por todas as inúmeras vezes que eu não disse “eu te amo”. E por todas as muitas vezes em que continuarei a cometer o mesmo erro.

Cansei de tentar entender o porquê de ser assim. Sou um cara emotivo. Comovo-me facilmente. Sou sensível à arte (o motivo desse blog é prova disso). Sinto as coisas de verdade. Muitas das reações, porém, ficam soterradas sob uma tonelada de entulho. Espero resolver isso ainda nesta vida. Está em progresso, sim…

PS – É por isso que gosto tanto de Pearl Jam. De alguma forma aquela relação da música comigo mesmo é intensa, a ponto de ser impossível explicar. Por isso decidi que em um primeiro momento, pelo menos até esgotar, me aterei às letras de Eddie Vedder. Até porque sei quase todas de cor e ouço quase todos os dias. Me poupa o trabalho de pesquisa.