Pearl Jam – Low Light

Publicado: 03/02/2013 em Pearl Jam, Yield

“can i be here all alone? clear a path to my home. blood runs dry, books and jealousy tell me wrong. i will feel calm. voice blows by. low light, car crash”

This week Yield, Pearl Jam’s 5th studio album, turned 15. It was the first album after I became this big a fan. I’ve always liked Pearl Jam, but being born in 1981 I was too young to really know what good music was when Seattle became the center of the rock music world. Some years later, by the time No Code had come and Yield was coming, I became obsessed. Still am, which can be proved by the posts on this blog.

Low Light, one of my favorites from that album, is a beautifully written song. Especially when you’re prone to feeling alone. Throughout the years, Pearl Jam has always helped me feel part of something. It’s not like I’ve always had problems belonging, but this band was a constant. My hair has been shaved, has lacked style, and then has abandoned some parts of my head forever, my weight has gone up and down and up again, I’ve been into some specific sports, some videogames, some series or some other music… but Pearl Jam was always there for me.

This is a moment when I’m tasting what I’ve heard so many times in my life: feeling alone is not necessarily connected to having people around. It’s not necessarily connected to being professionally succesfull, or having many opportunities to enjoy yourself. Sometimes that one thing that doesn’t connect makes you move to a place that no one can access. And it hurts feeling alone. Not being able to trust. Feeling like nothing will ever be the same. Knowing you’ll have to focus on superficial things because your inner self is melted.

So it feels like a car crash. Shattered glass, retorted metal pieces, screams. I can hear my own voice crying for help. But no one else is here. I’m here all alone. I’ll have to let the blood run dry and clear a path to my home. The map is, once again, Pearl Jam.

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